The What If Journal: Reflections from a Leader in Progress
What I Learned This Week: When Fixing Isn’t the Fix
I was working out early one morning with a few guys, and we started talking about how we know when we’re struggling — when we feel behind or stuck. The conversation turned to what actually helps us move forward, and somewhere in the middle of it, I realized something about myself: I tend to live and lead from fix-it mode.
Whether it’s in ministry, my work, or at home, my first instinct is to diagnose the problem and jump straight to a solution. It feels productive — even responsible — but the more I think about it, the more I realize that my “fixing” often focuses on what’s right in front of me, not what’s really underneath.
It’s like putting a fresh coat of paint over a cracked wall. It looks better for a while, but the cracks always come back. And the truth is, sometimes I’m more focused on covering the cracks than actually asking what’s causing them in the first place.
The Leadership Reflection
That shows up everywhere in my life. In leadership, it might look like tweaking a system or rearranging a schedule without ever stopping to ask how people are actually doing. In marriage, it’s easy to get caught up trying to solve whatever disagreement is on the table instead of pausing long enough to ask what’s really behind it. And in parenting…well, that one hits close to home.
I can be quick to correct my kids when they act out, because fixing the behavior feels like progress. But parenting isn’t about fixing who they are — it’s about shaping who they’re becoming. If I only focus on behavior, I might win the moment but lose the opportunity to shape their heart.
The same thing happens with money. When my wife and I are in a season where finances feel tight, it’s easy to say, “We just need to cut spending.” That might work for a little while, but it doesn’t last — it turns into a chore, or worse, resentment. What’s been way more helpful is when we stop talking about what we can’t do and start talking about what we want to do.
When we think about money as a tool to build the kind of life we want together — the places we want to go, the experiences we want to create, the legacy we want to leave — cutting back starts to make sense. It’s not about deprivation anymore; it’s about direction. We’re not just reacting to a problem, we’re building toward a purpose.
And that’s the shift I’m learning everywhere — at work, at home, in leadership, in marriage. Instead of living in fix-it mode, I want to live in formation mode. Not just reacting to what’s wrong, but moving toward who I (and we) want to become.
So often we try to fix the present by looking backward, when maybe what we really need to do is look forward. Instead of asking, “How do we make today look better?” maybe the better question is, “Who do we want to become?” Because that vision changes how we live right now.
The What If
What if, instead of rushing to fix what’s right in front of you, you slowed down long enough to ask what’s underneath — and even more, who you’re becoming and who you’re helping others become in the process?