What I Learned This Week: When the Words We Use Start Leading Us

The What If Journal: Reflections from a leader in progress

I hear it all the time — from other leaders, from friends, and from my own mouth: “I’m tired.”

Sometimes it’s true. But lately, I’ve been wondering how often phrases like that become more than descriptions. How often they turn into declarations. Even worse, how often they become self-fulfilling prophecies.

We do this with other words too.
“I’m busy.”
“I’m stressed.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”

And again — sometimes that’s absolutely accurate. Life is full, leadership is demanding, and responsibility carries weight. But other times, I wonder if those words are less about reality and more about habit.

Are we actually busy… or are we just not prioritizing well?
Are we truly stressed… or are we avoiding something that needs to be addressed?
Are we exhausted… or are we mentally worn down by the story we keep telling ourselves?

The Leadership Reflection

Jon Acuff talks about the idea of soundtracks — the repeated thoughts and phrases that play on loop in our minds. The internal dialogue we hear so often that we stop questioning whether it’s even true.

I’m realizing how powerful those soundtracks can be. When I keep telling myself, “I’m exhausted,” I start living like exhaustion is my identity. When I repeat, “I’m slammed,” I subconsciously give myself permission to rush, react, and neglect what actually matters most.

What’s scary is how rarely I stop to ask if the soundtrack is telling the truth. I just accept it as fact and let it shape my posture, my mood, and my leadership.

This shows up everywhere. In leadership, it can become an excuse for disengagement or delay. In marriage, it can justify emotional distance. In parenting, it can lower our patience before the day even begins.

I’m not saying we should deny reality or pretend we’re not human. Fatigue is real. Stress is real. Full seasons are real. But I am learning that awareness matters. Not every thought deserves agreement. Not every phrase deserves repetition.

Some soundtracks need to be challenged, rewritten, or turned down entirely. Because the words we use don’t just describe our lives — they often start directing them.

And if I’m not careful, I can end up living under a narrative that isn’t actually true, simply because it’s familiar.

The What If

What if the soundtrack you’ve been repeating lately isn’t telling the full truth — and the first step toward healthier leadership is paying attention to the words you keep saying?