What to Teach Your Kids - Part 2
A previous article looked at certain hard skills that you should teach your children. Now, let’s take a look at soft skills that every child should learn as they grow and mature. This article is not designed to be an end all be all to this discussion. However, the idea here is to offer a number of skills that kids should develop in order to be fully functioning adults in the world. There are probably things you would add. There might be things you would lessen the importance of, but these are valuable soft skills in the life of kids these days. Think about how you might help build these skills in your kids today. What would you add? What would you take away? It is all good in this. Just have the conversation, even if it is only with yourself.
How to greet someone
In a world filled with screens teach your kids to be different. Teach them how to properly greet an adult, or really, anyone. Teach your kids how to look the person in the fave, greet, introduce themselves, and shake hands. Now, etiquette would actually have you teach your daughters and sons differently. A man should not hold his hand out to a lady unless she first extends her hand. Teach a firm handshake. Model it for them and make sure you give them opportunities to practice it. Practice with them. Have fun with it. But being able to greet someone well will set them apart in this world.
Who they are
Teach your kids the basics of personality and giftedness. Help them to identify what their basic personality makeup is and how their gifts help them lead in life. If you haven’t done this yourself, then make time right now to begin learning these things. Some arenas might refer to these things as emotional intelligence. Help your kids learn how and who God created them. Let them see how they can be secure in that and how to work within those traits to be all that God has made them to be. God didn’t mess up when He knit them together. He also didn’t go against His natural order. Help your kids to see the beauty in how God made them.
People matter
It isn’t the bottom line. It isn’t the net income. It isn’t the value of the stock. It’s the people stupid. People matter because people are what matter to God. Help your kids see that there is little value in achievement if people don’t matter in the process. In that your teaching make sure that you help your kids understand the power of influence. Their peers will influence them and they will influence their peers. However, influence tends to always being stronger on the inflow than the outflow. But the people they spend their time with matter. And the end purpose of life from God is people-orientated rather than things-orientated. It’s people that matter most in life.
How to have a conversation
This one is not about having an in-depth or detailed conversation. Think small talk. Basic interaction with someone they either don’t know at all, or don’t know well. It doesn’t have to polished and perfect. But help your kids know how to engage in simple conversation with another person. Help them learn to look the other person in the eye, not with a borderline psychotic stare at them, but the general eye contact that shows they are listening and engaged. Help them with questions they can ask. Help them learn little cues and how to do a follow up question to something the other person said. Help them learn to seek clarity for things they don’t quite understand. And make sure they recognize that they are going to misspeak and say things incorrectly. That’s okay. Everyone does. Help your children grow in the area of personal interaction. It will help throughout the rest of their lives.
Basic etiquette
Teach your kids the reality of basic etiquette. Help them to learn to say please, thank you, you are welcome, may I, and so many others. Etiquette is, in a sense, the language of basic respect for people. It is asking permission to use someone else’s property. It is sitting at the dinner table and chewing with your mouth closed, not talking with food in your mouth, and not passing any bodily wind either. Teach your kids to eat what is served. Teach your kids to say thank you to the cashier at the grocery store. Making people matter will mean that you will take seriously the language of etiquette.
How to receive constructive criticism
Your kids are going to get criticized. You are too. You should go ahead and help your kids learn how to receive constructive criticism and how to hear poorly communicated criticism in a constructive sense. And don’t forget to help them dismiss unfairly levied criticism, or misguided criticism. Unhappy people pour out their unhappiness on others. Help your children to learn the difference. There is something extremely valuable in teaching your kids to handle this, and that is ownership. In teaching your kids how to receive criticism it is vital alongside of it to help them learn to own, or take responsibility for, what is theirs to own. You will change the world just by raising kids who can take responsibility for what is theirs to be responsible for.
These things have been but a start of the soft skills you ought to be teaching your kids. All of them have certain age-appropriate conditions to them. Your five year old can’t process criticism the same way your 13 year old should. At every stage of life take time to invest in your kids to help them develop these skills. You will find even in their adulthood there will be times you continue this investment. As their parents, you have been called to raise them well. Your job is not to make them perfect, or to give them all the answers. Take the time in your investment in them to help them develop the skills and tools to be all that God wants them to be in the world. In doing so, you will make the world a better place.