What I Learned This Week: When “My Decision” Became “Our Decision”

The What If Journal: Reflections from a leader in progress

I was working with a leader this week who, by most measures, is incredibly successful. He’s built a thriving business, accomplished more than he ever imagined when he first started, and earned the respect of the people around him. He works hard, cares deeply, and genuinely wants his organization to flourish.

And yet, in our conversation, he admitted that he felt stuck.

As we talked, it became clear that the issue wasn’t a lack of vision, opportunity, or effort. The real challenge was that — without realizing it — he had become the lid on his own organization. Nearly every major decision still ran through him. He thought it through, filtered the options, landed on the answer, and then passed it down to his team.

To be fair, that approach works for a season, especially in entrepreneurial environments. In the early days, speed matters. Someone has to decide. Momentum depends on clarity. And often, the founder is the only one equipped to make those calls. But over time, what once created momentum can quietly become a bottleneck. What once felt like leadership can slowly turn into limitation.

So we tried something simple. We gathered a few key team members and invited them into the conversation. We asked for their perspective. We listened to their experience. We created space for them to wrestle with the decision alongside their leader instead of receiving it after the fact.

And something shifted almost immediately.

The final outcome may have been nearly identical to what he would have chosen on his own. But the process changed everything. It was no longer his decision. It became our decision. And that difference mattered more than any single detail of the plan.

The Leadership Reflection

There’s an old leadership phrase that keeps proving itself true: “Weigh-in creates buy-in.” When people are invited into the process, they don’t just support the outcome — they take ownership of it. They care more. They work harder. They defend it. They steward it.

Unilateral decision-making is often easier in the moment. It’s faster. It’s cleaner. It avoids disagreement and tension. It keeps things moving. But what it saves in time upfront, it often costs in engagement later. When leaders make every decision alone, they may get compliance — but they rarely get commitment.

Collaboration doesn’t mean everyone gets their way, and it doesn’t mean leaders stop leading. It means leadership expands. It means wisdom is multiplied. It means the room gets smarter because more voices are contributing. And it sends a powerful message to a team: You matter here. Your perspective matters. Your experience matters.

Over time, that kind of culture creates ownership instead of dependency. It produces leaders instead of bottlenecks. It builds teams that think, care, and act like stewards, not just employees waiting for instructions.

I’m learning that the goal of leadership isn’t to be the smartest person in the room. It’s to create rooms full of people who feel trusted enough to think and brave enough to lead.

The What If

What if the next decision you’re facing isn’t meant to be made alone — and inviting others into the process is exactly what will create the buy-in you’ve been hoping for?