What I Learned This Week: Why “More” Never Feels Like Enough

The What If Journal: Reflections from a leader in progress

I’ve been reading a book recently called The Molecule of More, and one idea from it has been sitting with me in ways I didn’t expect. The authors talk about how, as human beings, we aren’t really wired to have things — we’re wired to get things. We’re designed to imagine what’s coming next, to picture the future, and to believe that whatever is just over the horizon will finally bring us the clarity, peace, or contentment we’re looking for.

I see this play out in my own life all the time. I’ll catch myself thinking, Once this project is done… once this season passes… once this opportunity comes… then things will feel different. And in those moments, the future starts to feel more hopeful than the present. So I lean forward. I chase. I plan. I work harder.

And then I get there.

And most of the time, it doesn’t feel the way I imagined it would. There’s a brief sense of excitement. A moment of satisfaction. Maybe even some relief. But before long, my attention quietly shifts again to whatever is next. The next idea. The next goal. The next thing that promises to finally make everything feel complete.

The Leadership Reflection

The book explains that this cycle is largely driven by dopamine. Dopamine isn’t really the “happy chemical” we often think it is. It’s the anticipation chemical. It’s what lights up when we imagine what could be. It’s what fuels creativity, innovation, and ambition. Without it, we wouldn’t build much of anything. We wouldn’t dream. We wouldn’t grow. We wouldn’t take risks.

In that sense, dopamine is a gift. It’s part of how God wired us to move forward.

But it becomes dangerous when it becomes our primary source of fulfillment.

The authors contrast dopamine with what they call the “here and now” chemicals — the ones connected to gratitude, connection, and peace. These are the chemicals that help us enjoy the conversation we’re in, the people we’re with, and the season we’re living. They’re what allow us to receive life instead of constantly postponing it.

When those are underdeveloped, we start living almost entirely in the future. We become people who are always chasing, always planning, always believing the next season will finally be enough.

I see this in my leadership when I assume the next hire, the next strategy, or the next milestone will bring calm. I see it in my personal life when I think the next purchase, the next vacation, or the next opportunity will finally make me feel settled.

And yet, it rarely does.

Because dopamine was never meant to make us content. It was meant to make us move.

The problem isn’t ambition. The problem is when growth replaces gratitude. When forward motion replaces presence. When tomorrow becomes more important than today.

I’m learning that healthy leadership holds both at the same time. It allows “more” to motivate me without allowing it to define me. It lets me pursue growth without losing peace. It keeps me moving forward while staying rooted where I am.

The What If

What if you learned to enjoy where you are right now — while still letting “more” motivate you toward growth — instead of believing the next thing will finally be enough?