Are You Holding Yourself Back? Part 4

These articles are taking a look at leaders who have blind spots; hidden, or ignored, beliefs that are holding them back from all that they could be. Leaders who stall out in their own growth and development might achieve greater levels of position, but will stop growing in influence. Leaders develop blind spots the longer they lead people. And it can be very easy to try and blame outside factors for that tall in your leadership growth, or the growth of the organization. But it is rarely an outside factor that stalls out the leader. Nearly always, it is internal blocks that exist in the belief system of the leader that impacts growth both inwardly and outwardly. In other words, you are to blame, not others, not circumstances, and not attitudes. Your own beliefs are holding you back. Maybe some of these will hit home. Some won’t. Let’s take a look at beliefs that will hold you back in leadership. The previous articles have looked at several beliefs:

I have to decide - the belief that you should give input to, or make, every decision. This belief is nothing but micromanagement and it will logjam the decision-making process. Let go of control and trust the team to make the bulk of the decisions. Make the ones that only you can, and should, make.

This is urgent - the belief that everything is most important, a huge deal, and the expectation of immediate results. This belief is just burnout waiting to happen. Very little is actually urgent. Take time to identify what things are most important and focus time and energy on those things. Great results take time. Give that time.

I am always right - the belief that you are always right. Your thoughts, your plan, your solution, your everything. This belief will end the engagement of your team. You are not right. Not all the time. In fact, to be right, you have to be able and willing to be wrong. Don’t kill your team’s spirit. Be strong enough to acknowledge that you are wrong and they are right.

Things must be perfect - the belief that everything must be exceptionally perfect. Not just great, not just excellent, but perfect. And prefect often means everything rises to your personal preference and expectations. This belief will suck the life out of your team. They will stop trying. Stop taking risks. They will be frozen by fear. Things, especially in ministry, should be done with excellence, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t failure. Don’t give up. Give the glory to God and learn from everything, right/wrong, good/bad, excellent and not so excellent.

The mini-me - the belief that everyone should be a carbon copy of you. They should have the same effort, skills, abilities, and traits. They should think like you. Definitely never disagree with you. And act like you. This belief will burden the team with all sorts of frustrations. Forward progress will stall out because there is no variety to the team. No one is thinking differently about possible solutions. The team needs diversity in its emotional makeup. You will be better for it.

I have to do everything - the belief that you have to lead, be present, be involved, pray at, attend, and everything else that happens in the organization. You can’t say, “no” to anything. That is simply unsustainable for you. This belief will wreck your life, your family, and eventually the very ministry you are serving. You can’t do it all. You can’t be at it all. You need boundaries, and solid healthy ones at that. Establish your priorities and purpose in Christ. They will let you begin to decide what are the most important things that you must do and what things someone else can do. You will be better as a leader because of it.

Let’s take a look at one final belief that holds you back.

I shouldn’t be here

You are right. You shouldn’t. You don’t belong. You don’t deserve to lead. But you are there. And leading. Hopefully leading well. That is that beautiful incredibleness of God’s glorious grace in Christ. No one belongs. But in Christ you are full and complete. Not of your own effort, but Christ’s. The fancy term for this is imposter syndrome. The outgrowth of this becomes a number of self-sabotaging actions. You become an absent leader. Your communication suffers because you stop believing you have things to add. Your relationships with the team suffers. Influences wains because you are no longer around. While the previous false beliefs primarily impacted the team members, this one hits you. And it hits you hard.

The truth is that you belong where you are called by God. There is likely a far deeper and broader discussion to that statement. But, regardless, you belong where you are called. Not because of you, but because God has put you there. And God may have put you outside of your comfort and ability in order to teach you to trust His story over your own. Like it is stated above. The real truth is that you don’t belong, but in Christ you can do it. That’s the amazing quality of God’s grace. It isn’t based on your character. Your ability. Your worthiness. It is all about His. As a leader, there is a balance between recognizing that you do belong where you are and acknowledging that you are only there because of God. That is humility in action. It is giving credit where it is rightly due. You are not a senior leader because of your personal faithfulness, ability, or that you have put the time in. You are where you are because of God. Give Him the glory always. And recognize that anything that you are is only because of His gracious gift.

These past several articles have looked at false beliefs in the mind of a leader that will do far more harm than good. These beliefs hold you back from reaching the full potential. Each of them might ebb and flow in your life. One might pop up in a certain season, or after a transition. Maybe a failure takes place. You took a big risk and it didn’t work. That miss caused one of these false beliefs to grow and take up residence in your life. Now you feel like a fraud. But you aren’t. Every leader struggles with false beliefs and blind spots. You have to risk relationships with the people around you to help you identify and grow. That takes a great deal of trust and, yes, you will likely experience some sort of betrayal along the way. But people matter. Not just you. Ultimately, all leadership is about people moving forward. If you lose sight of that reality you might be successful, but you very well might do it without real soul. Without real love, and that is the greatest failure of all.

Growing as a leader requires that you never stop seeking to learn. Learning about your own tendencies, giftedness, background, and experiences is vital. Often, a leader stops learning and develops blind spots. These areas end up stalling the leader out. But you can restart your learning and work to overcome these false beliefs to grow as a leader. As a leader, the root driving force of what you do is and should be people out of a God-given spirit of love. It is easy for that to get lost along the way as you wrestle with these false beliefs. Take stock of your leadership. What is its foundation right now? As you are honest about what motivates and drives your leadership you will begin to find ways to build a better foundation for why you do what you do.