Running on Empty
Chances are, you are tired. Worn out. Worn down. Leading people is challenging. It is taxing. It is difficult and frustrating. It is also amazingly rewarding and fulfilling. And the reality is that everyone is leading someone. Every person is leading. Every personal interaction is leadership to some degree. You are leading at your workplace. You are leading at home. You are leading wherever you are. Your position and title don’t determine whether you are leading. Your DISC profile doesn’t determine whether you are leading. Your spiritual gift assessment doesn’t determine whether you are leading. You are. So do it well. And running through life with an empty energy tank will keep you from doing anything well. Take these steps to help prevent your tank hitting empty and your life moving into burnout.
Intentional times of reflection
Make intentional reflection a regular part of your life. Pause after the hard moments and difficulties to ask yourself about how you feel. Ask yourself what led to those feelings. Were there things that triggered past feelings of insecurity? Why did that happen? Were you warranted for feeling that? Take stock after successes in a similar fashion. The point is that these times don’t have to take a lot of time, but they need to happen in a regular schedule. Make notes, even if they are only mental, about what you feel, sense, and learn from these times. If you have a trusted friend, or coach, it could help to talk through them with that person.
Learn and adapt
During the period of reflection on the situation seek to learn about yourself through it. That is really the point of practicing times of reflection. Don’t focus so much on the negative that you lose sight of the good things. What did the interaction teach you? What does it say about your mental state? What can you do to grow and mature from the situation? You can even reframe the discussion from a different perspective. If you are reflecting on a disagreement that took place then take time to ask yourself things from the other side of debate. Did you hold to your opinion only because it was your opinion, or was it because it was truly the correct one? Could you have communicated things better to the team, to your family, to your spouse? Was the timing right? It can be almost endless the kind of questions you can utilize to learn from reflecting. Seek out where you can make changes, whether little or big, and consider how you can adapt as a better leader.
Apply
This step cannot be emphasized enough. It really does not matter a bit if you reflect, learn, and adapt if you are unwilling to put the changes into practice. You have to apply them. Yes, yes you do. The thought does not count here. What you do does. You will not get it all right immediately. There will be missteps along the way. Always are. Always will be. Make the effort. Put the new found skills into practice. Try. Try harder. Be better.
Refuel your tank
Leading people is draining. Regardless of how effective you are, you lose energy. The tank can go dry. Even if you are trying to refuel, if you are still constantly running, you will burn out. It should be common sense that if your outflow is higher than your inflow then at some point things will go very badly. There is no line of credit for your well-being. Learning how to refuel apart from temporary things, people, and situations is vital to learning to lead and relate out of the overflow of your life. Having overflow and directing that overflow into intentional investment in others will automatically make you a better person overall. You need to practice intentional times of refueling. Whether it is quiet and solitude, or some sort of active participation in something, there is a general way that you recharge. Take time out on a regular basis to do so. And understand that you should not seek to recharge from another person. No one else is responsible for your happiness and contentment. Sucking emotional energy from your spouse, your kids, or someone else only makes you a parasite. Truly recharging requires you to stop and rest. Practice Sabbath. That is the point of why God gifted His creation this intentional concept of rest.
Is your life running on empty right now? Are nervously glancing at your emotional tank and wondering how far past the “E” the needle can go? Ignoring this leads to derailment in your life. Being a leader means recognizing that you are better when you work and lead from the overflow of life. Working from the overflow of life doesn’t only apply to a leadership scenario. When you work out of an overflow you are a better spouse, a better parent, and generally a better person all around. Practice these steps so that you will up your leadership game wherever you are in life.