Are You Holding Yourself Back? Part 3
These articles are taking a look at leaders who have blind spots; hidden, or ignored, beliefs that are holding them back from all that they could be. Leaders who stall out in their own growth and development might achieve greater levels of position, but will stop growing in influence. Leaders develop blind spots the longer they lead people. And it can be very easy to try and blame outside factors for that tall in your leadership growth, or the growth of the organization. But it is rarely an outside factor that stalls out the leader. Nearly always, it is internal blocks that exist in the belief system of the leader that impacts growth both inwardly and outwardly. In other words, you are to blame, not others, not circumstances, and not attitudes. Your own beliefs are holding you back. Maybe some of these will hit home. Some won’t. Let’s take a look at beliefs that will hold you back in leadership. The previous articles have looked at several beliefs:
I have to decide - the belief that you should give input to, or make, every decision. This belief is nothing but micromanagement and it will logjam the decision-making process. Let go of control and trust the team to make the bulk of the decisions. Make the ones that only you can, and should, make.
This is urgent - the belief that everything is most important, a huge deal, and the expectation of immediate results. This belief is just burnout waiting to happen. Very little is actually urgent. Take time to identify what things are most important and focus time and energy on those things. Great results take time. Give that time.
I am always right - the belief that you are always right. Your thoughts, your plan, your solution, your everything. This belief will end the engagement of your team. You are not right. Not all the time. In fact, to be right, you have to be able and willing to be wrong. Don’t kill your team’s spirit. Be strong enough to acknowledge that you are wrong and they are right.
Things must be perfect - the belief that everything must be exceptionally perfect. Not just great, not just excellent, but perfect. And prefect often means everything rises to your personal preference and expectations. This belief will suck the life out of your team. They will stop trying. Stop taking risks. They will be frozen by fear. Things, especially in ministry, should be done with excellence, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t failure. Don’t give up. Give the glory to God and learn from everything, right/wrong, good/bad, excellent and not so excellent.
Let’s take a look at more beliefs that hold you back.
The mini-me
Chances are, your skill set, personality traits, and other abilities have all played into your rise into higher leadership positions. Maybe you have never really dug into your own emotional design and development. Maybe you have. But the idea here is that you begin to expect that everyone should be just like you in temperament, attitude, focus, and the list goes on. If you can be that way, or act that way, or understand those things then everyone else should too. You begin to be against a team member that is simply different from you. Thinks differently, or sees things from a different perspective. Unrealistic expectations arise because you are underestimating, or under-supporting the development of the team.
The truth here is that the last thing your organization needs is a team comprise of a bunch of “yous.” If you look around at the team and only see a reflection of yourself then your organization is in big trouble. Things need to change. A stable and highly functional team is comprised of differences. Different personalities. Different strengths. Different backgrounds. Different experiences. And all of that is held in high respect for each other’s diversity. Anything less is trouble waiting to happen. Be intentional about bringing in people different from yourself. And different from the other team members. Establish a culture of listening and respect for the opinions. Learn to disagree well as a team, but always walk about the door united in mission and purpose.
I have to do everything
At first glance this will seem like the first belief. But this is a bit different. This is the idea that, as the leader, you have to be at everything, lead everything, be involved with everything, etc. You can’t say,”no” to anything. It is especially dangerous in the ministry. There is always someone who just knows and believes that a certain ministry should be happening. Mind you, they have no interest in actually leading said ministry but definitely think you should. Priorities are vital in ministry. Not everything is the highest priority. Some things really are not that important. You don’t have to be there. You don’t have to share at every event. Believing you have to do it all will lead to burn out, boundary issues, and you will reach a cliff at some point that you won’t see coming. It won’t be pretty.
The truth is that you are a limited individual. God made you that way. He doesn’t mess up. He didn’t design you to do everything. You can’t. By the way, if you are a church staff member and a father or mother, God didn’t decree that the ministry is more important than your family. Learning about yourself, your design, your strengths and weaknesses allows you to determine priorities and purpose. Knowing those things gives you the great gift of being able to identify what you can so “no” to. There will always be a few things that you can’t say that to, or turn down. Certain things are your job and your job only. You gotta figure those out. But so many things are not your job, or are really someone else’s. Hand them off. establish healthy boundaries. You will be better for it.
Growing as a leader requires that you never stop seeking to learn. Learning about your own tendencies, giftedness, background, and experiences is vital. Often, a leader stops learning and develops blind spots. These areas end up stalling the leader out. But you can restart your learning and work to overcome these false beliefs to grow as a leader. Stay tuned for the final belief that holds a leader back.