The Hidden Powder Keg of Insecurity
Simmering under the service of many people is a steadily building pressure of insecurity. Every person deals with a level of uncertainty, or self-doubt. Those are pretty normal parts of life. Will this new recipe taste good? Will my meeting with this potential new client turn into a sale? Insecurity goes well beyond these sorts of questions to taking control of your emotions and overwhelming your inner self with fear. Insecurity is a powder keg deep inside filled with steadily increasing pressure that will eventually erupt. Unchecked insecurity is a cancer in the life of a person. It is especially cancerous to a leader. The issues of pride, narcissism, lying, and so forth are visible hindrances to a person’s life and leadership. Insecurity is typically invisible. It doesn’t show up on the surface. It sits beneath. Other people don’t really see it until some aspect of it blows up into the light. Insecurity is the unseen cause of damage in a person’s life.
Relational difficulty
A person with insecurity will struggle to develope deep and abiding relationships. It isn’t that every relationship needs to be deep either, but that an insecure person will struggle to fully connect with anyone. There will be an underlying suspicion, or fear, that the other person doesn’t really like them because how could anyone actually like them?! Difficulty with authentic relationships is not an issue purely of insecurity. There are other things that create this sort of difficulty. However, insecurity can be the cause of failure to connect with people. It is especially bad in the relationship with your spouse, which is built on covenantal intimacy. Insecurity in your marital relationship leads to all sorts of dysfunctional issues. It erodes the trust between the two and before long you are basically roommates instead of partners.
Indecisive leadership
The insecure leader will struggle to make a decision, and once made, will regularly second guess it, and may abandon it too soon because it doesn’t immediately produce desired results. The insecure leader will change strategic direction like a leaf falling from a tree in the wind. The people will become frustrated with the constant change of priorities and will eventually check out completely from the leader. The problem of insecurity does not negate the need to prayerfully discern and seek wisdom from others regarding big decisions. An insecure leader will also make wrong decisions because of fear that someone might dislike it, or get mad about it. indecisive leadership will often create a stagnation of progress and growth for the organization.
Skews success and love
Insecurity will misrepresent what truly is success and love to you. An insecure person will soon begin to define these things as agreement, or approval, from others. Insecurity beholdens you to the whims and ever changing opinions of others who don’t have your best interest at heart. You will chase success and never experience it because you don’t have any real idea of what it is. You will fail to ever feel loved because you will always be presuming you have to earn it from the other person. Insecurity writes false beliefs about these things into your life. Underneath it all a false sense of you don’t really deserve any of it grows and will impact all areas of your life.
Hyper critical of others
One the other side of the insecurity coin is that you become hyper-critical of others and this criticism, or dislike, can focus on others you perceive as more successful, more skilled, or even just less insecure people. A common target of insecure attacks is the person who is secure in themselves and comfortable with who they are. A sort of jealousy develops that shows itself with passive aggressive tactics to bring down the other person to your level. It doesn’t matter whether that person is a threat or not. Leaders get jealous that something good is happening in another department, organization, or church. It begins with questions and turns to self-justifying criticism that solves nothing. It only hurts the organization and discredits you as a leader.
There is an epidemic of insecurity in the world today. Sadly, it is especially prevalent in the church today. Left alone, no one will drift away from insecurity. Dealing with your insecurity takes intentional effort. It begins with taking time to identify the root causes. What are the events in your childhood/upbringing that speak towards it and what are the past failures that impact it? Chances are that you will find certain triggers that cause your insecurity to rise up. Bring things into the light with a few people, or person, you can fully trust. Seek to learn who you fully are in Christ and the freedom in Him through salvation. Remind yourself that you are free in Christ even from these things. When you realize that insecurity is swelling in your thoughts and life take a timeout and pause. Respond to it with the truth of God’s unconditional love for you.