Without Love
Life is choices - a series of decisions again and again made that dictate the course it takes and the impact on others. Plenty of factors are used to evaluate decisions and their inherent “rightness.” But even the best decisions made without love are, ultimately, wrong decisions. The economy of God doesn’t operate according to the principles of the world. But love doesn’t show up the way we tend to think it should, or always does. True biblical love might require a different way of acting, or thinking.
Love not love
Maybe it seems weird but love isn’t always love in the Bible. At the heart of sin is a move from selflessness towards self-centeredness. Biblical Greek has four different words that all translate as love. For this, only two need to be identified. Agape and Eros. Agape is a selfless love, a covenantal love. Eros is a self-centered love focused on pleasure. It is more complicated than that but those terms will suffice for this. All sorts of things take place when a decision is made in the wrong love. Man is inherently at war within himself over which love will rule. As much as we might want to believe that agape love wins out, even as followers of Christ, the brutal truth is that our love is self-centered far too often. We lead with the wrong love. God calls His people to live, lead, and act with a selfless agape love. And using that love to guide your life looks quite a bit different.
The wrong decision without love
Pretty easy to spot this, right? A wrong decision made without love is an obvious failure. Or it should be easy to spot at least. Selfish decision-making is all around but a selfish decision isn’t always easy to spot. Bad decisions combined with selfishness can be silent disasters waiting in the wings to sabotage what’s next. Frankly, these style decisions are everywhere today.
The right decision without love
You can be all the right things for the world, but none the right things for God. Paul’s admonishment to the Church in Corinth magnifies this idea. You can be eloquent, charismatic, and all of that. But it is all nothing without selflessness. Jesus challenged His followers while on earth that if you seek and live for the praise of men that is all the praise you will ever receive. You will not hear your Heavenly Father declare, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Far too many in the church aim to be right, instead of selfless. A decision can have all the hallmarks of greatness, but without love it is nothing. It is an annoying clanging cymbal. It is full of sound and fury signifying nothing. It is worthless.
A decision made in love
The greatest pursuit, and greatest challenge, is perhaps to be the defining characteristic of great. A decision made in love is the most difficult to identify. It won’t look like other decisions. It might not even be a decision. It might be waiting. It could be the recognition that it is the right thing, but wrong time.
What if it looks like saying, “No”?
What if it means saying, “ You are wrong”? Or worse, “You are right”?
It can be choosing to not be angry. To offer grace instead of condemnation. It might mean telling someone they aren’t ready, or are not the right person. God doesn’t judge the decisions made by the standards of this world. It is setting boundaries. It is calling out the caustic behaviors in the people you lead. Not in public, and with a sincere offer to help. It’s recognizing and acknowledging your own shortcomings before you ever call them out in others. What if every decision you make is held against the standard of the cross and Jesus dead upon it? Would they align? Maybe you think that is extreme. Maybe you just don’t care. Jesus showed us what it means to make decisions in selfless love. May we learn to trust that story and follow Him fully. We just might find ourselves making radically different decisions.